Doing what needs to be done

I don’t love my job.  I work for a big corporation, and sometimes the decisions of the upper management here seem opaque.  They prioritize profits over the needs of the workers, or of the students we serve, and admittedly some of our recruitment tactics seem like they take advantage of our students’ lack of sophistication.

On the other hand, I don’t hate my job.  I have my little library world carved out here.  I feel necessary, I get to do basically whatever I want, I get a nice paycheck relative to the norm in my profession, and even though I have seen it a hundred times, I still get a little verklempt at graduation.  Those are my kids walking across that stage, every one of them. 

I am certainly open to other career paths.  I have days I worry about my long-term stability with this company, and days I shake my fist and think, “Those dirty double-crossers!”  I know there is no moving up here unless I leave the library and go for a deanship–and I am rock solid on not wanting that headache!  But I still see no reason to take a big pay cut to go somewhere else, like the place I interviewed last week.  If the interview had been stellar, and the organization had seemed like a perfect fit, maybe I would be working harder on realigning my budget, or selling a car, or pushing my husband to get a day job, like Mom thinks I should be.  But it wasn’t.  There weren’t enough plusses to the new place to make up for the big minus. 

And can I just take a minute here to rant about the practice of not putting an accurate starting salary in the freakin’ job announcement?  If I had known from the get-go that the job would be a 25% cut from what I make now, I never would have applied at all.  I and they would have both been saved time.  Post it, so I can know if I can afford to apply.  Sometimes in library world, people act like we should be willing to do this work for free because it is a calling.  I am passionate about libraries, but this is my job.  I have to make money at it to live, and acting like salary discussions are dirty and cheapen the hiring process is just ludicrous. 

I know I complain about my workplace, and so to a large degree, it’s my own fault that I am getting such a push to take any new position at all.  Mom means well, and I know she is somewhat informed by her own recent retirement from a similar company.  She got out of a place she decided was dirty, and so wants me to, as well.   Others that have suggested I just jump and get a second job or something to make up the difference also think they are looking out for me.  But none of them have to pay my bills, or determine what are acceptable compromises in my life.  

So in short, if offered, I probably won’t take the job.  And I know I need to tone down the complaining and maybe accentuate the positive a little.  That doesn’t mean I won’t keep looking at opportunities, but it’s okay that I am comfortable here for now.



3 thoughts on “Doing what needs to be done

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  1. Thanks for following my blog. When I read this blog , I could have easily substituted my name for yours. I was an Early Childhood Educator ( previously known as a child care worker) and worked for a corporate organisation that put the dollar before the children. I stayed hoping things would get better and they never did. I ended up on long term stress leave.
    It is funny how some professions where people have passions are so lowly paid. I was unable to leave my job because of financial reasons but ended up jeopardising my health by doing so. I notice that lots of women stay in jobs that are soul destroying, whereas Men just change jobs. Good luck with your jobsearch. You deserve to be someplace where your good ethics are matched to those of your employer.

  2. I am another who feels you wrote about me. I kept my last position because I had to. There were many aspects of the job that I loved and felt good about, but I was always aware there were some truly inhumane people in positions of power, and they were making really lousy decisions. But they paid me well, and the insurance was absolutely crucial while I endured cancer treatment. Ultimately, though, I went on medical leave for pain, which turned into long term disability. Again, I am grateful for the insurance they have allowed me to keep, so I appreciate the company. But my stress over that job, I am convinced, caused this nerve and joint damage (exacerbated by chemotherapy, certainy). We do what we must. I hope you can find a better fit eventually, and in the meantime may you continue to see the positives.

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